this feeling is called apathy. this night was called remorse.

rip away these feelings. tear them away from the place between my shoulder blades. heal me. let the feelings pour out like vomit from the mouth of a drunken fuck doll. kill these feelings. murder these stupid, worthless feelings. burn them. fuck them. mutilate them. watch them scar over. fuck these feelings. i mean nothing to you. you mean everything to me. i have pushed you so far away, that even i can't tell if it's really you anymore. i still have these feelings, and i still can't explain this to you. i am sitting here with so much to lose, and nothing to gain. you tell me there is nothing more. i don't know if i can believe that. fuck this stupid feeling. kill it. kill it, and bury me in the dirt. i am here to die, and ressurect. i am the phoenix. i am the everlasting. i am sitting here waiting to die so i can live again.