preterition

emotional bulimia.
all the feelings fall like vomit.
bits and chunks, pulled into the rubicon.
i feel them in my throat.
i start to choke, i fucking choke.
all across the ocean, all across the sea.
it's episodic, it comes and goes.
fatigued, all the time by thoughts slipping by so fast.
i binge upon emotions, and then i purge.
i fucking purge and then feel guilty?
i'm self-condemning myself again and again.
but at the end of the day, when the sky is black and blank,
i feel nothing.
i feel aught.
the vacuity inside me spins within it's nothingness.