you've got me wishing spring would come in january

i lost the only thing i thought about holding onto for some time.
is it any wonder that my thoughts are asunder?
blown away i am dissolving into space and altered time.
i'll blow my brains out on the alter.
look right into the sun until you go blind.
all the things inside my soul are surging out onto the floor.
i'm dripping off the alter that you can't see with your blind eyes.
hold on to everything you had. i'm not the one who drove you mad.
i'm just the one who had a good run and discharged clotted thoughts onto the floor.
you looked in the sun and now your corneas are gone.
is it any fucking wonder?
the sacrificial light is flickering, please don't talk to me- i hate us bickering.
i'm done with all that could have come.
today the sun will never rise, you'll never open your eyes, i'll never attempt to respirate.
my head is broken open.
my thoughts are leaking.
lap them up.
drink from the puddle under the alter that glimmers pale in the moon in the early afternoon.
i can tell you're fucking thirsty.
you're a blood-craving, catastrophe that i want to love and fuck and die.