the V-induced happenings.

i'm sorry your honor. it's just that while i was out of town i forgot to feed the snake and she somehow got into some shit and i ended up feeding her crack cocaine. that's why there's a gaping hole in her side. don't look at me like i'm crazy. i'm not crazy. stay down low, behind the chair, and look out the window. they've got about thirty-five to fifty coming around. just turn and face the other side of the room. see that orange cresent light floating aound over there? focus on the light for just a minute. the thing about that orange light is that it moves mountains. same as the wind beating the fuck out of my house, it can move. your honor, excuse me, but are you breathing? would you pay attention to the following? i'm pretty sure that the disembodied voices are trying to relay some vitally important shit. truth is, i forgot the case at hand. if i could just get a spinal tap and move things right along, that'd be great. seriously though your honor when i gave that snake crack-cocaine for the second time, i saw him sprout another head. he spiraled seven tounges and then a vortex of other flames from his other mouth. must have been the drugs, man. good night, your honor. i've got a dinner date with a crack-addicted snake.