thought therapy

my face is being torn from my skull. i can't begin to explain how it feels. i've lied about being able to eat and sleep. i've slept all in all about three or four hours in the last week, and i've eaten so much as to lose six or seven pounds. i got a haircut because i thought changing how i looked would help how i feel. i've been staring at everything like it's a way out of this slump. i've been alone a lot. the time when i'm alone is what hurts the most. i just want to talk to someone, and be with someone, and love someone. i just want to feel the acceptance that i used to be so accustomed to. my skin is sticking to my bones, and it hurts. it hurts so bad. my eyes are burning from the smoke in the room, and from crying. i just want someone who can take my pain away. it hurts. i don't know who to talk to. i don't even care. everything just seems so twisted lately. i just want to crawl inside a hole and when i come out again, i want it to be just like it was before. i love her. i'm in love with her, and i just want her to love me like she used to. it hurts to be apart. i can't begin to tell you how much it hurts. it's like you'd imagine the pain associated with dying. the only sad part is that i live with it, and it hurts. i just want to hold her in my arms and have her be mine, and i just want to sit there and let her know that i'm all hers. it hurts, and i just want the only thing i know can make it right again. her. i love her.